


break me like a promise

by leov66



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: HIGHLY INSPIRED BY @YUKINAYEE ON TUMBLR CHECK THEM OUT, I DONT LIKE ADAM, M/M, Post-Kerberos Mission, keith and adam didn't like each other and that's tea, keith's abandonment issues, listen i don't know what s7 will bring so this is my last chance to post this, mentions of shiro's disease, pre-kerberos flashbacks, this takes place right after The News
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 08:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leov66/pseuds/leov66
Summary: Keith hasn’t slept. All he sees is Shiro’s smile, the grip on Keith’s arm when they weren’t aware of the photo being taken. (Of course he has the photo in his pocket, but he can’t bring himself to look at it, afraid of thinkingthis is all that’s left of him for me.It wasn’t supposed to be a goodbye.) He’s scared that he’s being delusional, but it’s better than the alternative. It’s better than what he’s seen Adam doing.The news reaches the Garrison like a thunderbolt - sudden and deadly. Keith and Adam have a confrontation about it.





	break me like a promise

**Author's Note:**

> i saw [this comic](https://yukinayee.tumblr.com/post/176514679064/mourning-a-comparison-between-keith-and-adam) and thought _oh wow this hurts_ so i wrote it! also full credit for the lines that i literally took from the comic. this is the last chance i'll get to post this since s7 comes out tomorrow (fbjndms no one is ready) and gives us the real tea on pre-kerberos. this is my personal headcanon (duh) and i don't like adam. there must've been some bad blood between the two. you can't change my mind. PLEASE ENJOY

The first few days, Keith’s knees deep in denial. He saw a person or two straight-up break down at the news with everyone present, but there’s something inside him that relentlessly denies everything and doesn’t even allow him to process it. It’s simply impossible, Keith knows Shiro well enough to know that he and _pilot error_ wouldn’t be used in the same sentence; hell, not even in the same paragraph. He was- _is_ the Garrison’s pride and joy, otherwise they wouldn’t have picked him for the Kerberos mission. He can’t be gone now, as if he wasn’t everything there could ever be for Keith.

 

Keith hasn’t slept. All he sees is Shiro’s smile, the grip on Keith’s arm when they weren’t aware of the photo being taken. (Of course he has the photo in his pocket, but he can’t bring himself to look at it, afraid of thinking _this is all that’s left of him for me_. It wasn’t supposed to be a goodbye.) He wears the dark circles like a badge of honour because it’s all he can do. He’s scared that he’s being delusional, but it’s better than the alternative. It’s better than what he’s seen Adam doing.

 

They run into each other by the cafeteria. Everything about that place screams Shiro’s name, the memories of countless bowls of mac and cheese, the coffee, the spot in the corner from which Keith watched him and Adam hold hands when they thought no one was looking. (Keith was always looking at Shiro.) Adam looks exactly like Keith doesn’t allow himself to be, downright miserable, from the puffed, red eyes to the rumpled uniform. It’s pathetic, really, it goes against all of Keith’s instincts to let everything show; but then again, that’s part of why Shiro fell so hard for Adam.

 

“You look like shit,” Keith says and his voice feels too raspy and too small at the same time. Adam wouldn’t have spared him a second glance if he didn’t have to; they’d always been like this, especially since the Kerberos mission announcement. At some point it was a point of pride, but not so much anymore. He looks up at Keith and there’s a little bit of surprise left in him, like he expected pity, which Keith never had for anyone, not even himself.

 

“Not everyone started throwing punches at the news.” It wasn’t plainly self defense, Keith could admit that much. What else could he do, though, when not even two days after the news broke he heard some assholes offending Shiro’s piloting skills and implying it actually was a pilot error. He struck just like Shiro had taught him, but there was also a bit of the orphanage in the punch. He’s glad he never outgrew its anger.

 

It takes every last bit of restraint not to just throw a left hook and be done with the conversation. “Not everyone cried in front of the superior officers. Talk about self-preservation.”

 

“What do _you_ know about it, kid?”, Adam scoffs at him. Keith suddenly realizes just how satisfying it’d feel to have his nose below his own fist. Adam always went after his age like it was his last line of defense. “One of these days you’re going to be through for all the insubordination.”

 

“Maybe if you used all of that brainpower you waste on this and talked to Iverson, there’d be a search party and they’d at least try looking for him.” In the end, it all boils down to this. Adam looks and acts like he’s given up on Shiro; Keith could never do that. “He must be somewhere out there, you _know_ there’s no way he crashed.” His voice cracks a little at the last few words, but it’s- Adam is all he has left of hope.

 

Adam sighs. Somehow it makes Keith clench his teeth. “It’s not-”

 

“They wouldn’t listen, they won’t even talk to me. You have to do _something_.” He’s so desperate he can feel an ache in his chest, the feeling that it’s all wrong. Something must’ve gone down. “You have to tell them to search for him!”

 

Adam takes off his glasses and grips them like they’re the only thing holding him together and it looks like they are. “It’s impossible.” Everything about his demeanor says surrender, like he’s somehow come to terms that Shiro’s _gone_. It’s one thing to consider it when it’s the middle of the night and he sees Shiro’s face in all of the stars in the sky and another to hear it from the one that loved him and, according to a rumour, wanted to marry him at some point. For the first time, tears threaten to spill from Keith’s eyes. It feels like betrayal and he’s had a fair share of that in his life already.

 

He’s started screaming and he wasn’t even aware. “There _has_ to be a mistake! Don’t you see it? Don’t you _care_?” There’s just this overwhelming anger, a burning rage inside him on the verge of release.

 

“They’ve lost all contact with the crew. An immediate search mission to Kerberos is outside of the Garrison’s ability at this point.” Adam’s voice sounds mechanical, impersonal, fake. Like he read it somewhere and it just sounded good.

 

“You’re so calm about this. It’s like- wait, you seriously bought into this ’pilot error’ bullshit? You really think he fucked up?”

 

Adam turns away from him, maybe out of shame. Keith hopes it’s shame. “Enough, kid.”

 

“You knew Shiro! You think he’d really fuck it up, that he’d- he’d make a mistake, that he of all people would-”

 

The wall echoes with a deaf thud when Adam punches it. “I said _enough._ You didn’t even know him. Did you know he was dying? I told him not to go. I told him, but he didn’t want to listen to me! And now he’s gone. He’s gone, Keith.”

 

 _Dying._ Keith’s been slapped, punched, knocked out, but this is ten times worse than everything else. Shiro told him about his disease when he couldn’t hide it anymore, but he didn’t mention dying. Of course he didn’t. Suddenly, Keith can’t breathe properly. He turns away from Adam and _runs._

 

He’s a whirlwind of fury throughout the next days, ready to fight anyone, blazing with anger that keeps him up at night and impassive to the consequences it might bring. His anger is unyielding, a constant echo in his bones and the kind of loneliness nothing can shake out. It’s him against the world again, his racing thoughts against injustice and indifference. It’s almost a relief when he goes too far and punches Iverson; he almost breathes out when he’s all alone at the desert. He’s not allowed at the funeral and he doesn’t try to get in. They didn’t have anything to bury but photos, not even his dog tags. Keith keeps them on a chain around his chest, but never looks at them. All that’s left of his past life is a single cadet uniform. The stars above the shack aren’t strangers to him, but they trace an unfamiliar path he no longer wants to learn. Sometimes he feels a pull of something else, a different kind of gravity that urges him to go deeper into the ground. It’s both an end and a beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [@euphra-sie](https://euphra-sie.tumblr.com) please yell at me
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **COMMENTS AND KUDOS KEEP WRITERS MOTIVATED AND MAKE THEM WANNA WRITE MORE**


End file.
